its real.

as i lay here on my couch watching the precious movie "UP" im just thinking about a few things....one being how this has been a super long day, two how much i don't want to go to school tomorrow, three how ready i am for Christmas...and a haircut. but what really is capturing my thoughts would be the thing that i thought about this morning in church....

its something i hear all the time but it really just became so real to me this morning and it made my heart so sad. i don't even know why this came to my mind but my mind wonders a lot so its no surprise that i think of such random things sometimes. But I'm guessing something Shannon said stood out to me and honestly i don't remember what that certain thing was but it made me start thinking about my teacher and the people i go to school with. i realized today that out of all those people in that school I'm the only one that has a relationship with Jesus and that broke my heart. I love my teacher so much. she is so fun and you can tell that she wants to teach you everything she possibly can. she is great at what she does. her kids are precious too. and then there is my Spanish friend. she cracks me up and half the time i don't even know what she is saying. she brought her daughter to school with her last Saturday and we talked for forever because she can speak English and Spanish and that just amazed me ha ha. and of course Crystal. she is awesome and could do some fancy nail art. she makes me laugh every single day. i enjoy each of these ladies company and i was thinking the morning that if anything ever happened to them or me i would never ever see them again. I want to change that.

They know that i am a christian because every morning i do my Jesus time at my desk. a few of them have made comments to me or have asked what i was doing and that's exciting because then i get to share all about it and why i do it. Crystal has told me that she does her quit time at night but by the way the acts you can tell she is producing no fruit....but shame on me to judge her. Janette (the Spanish lady) is from Cuba and the other day we were talking about Christmas and she told us that she doesn't celebrate Christmas. she never has and never will. i was shocked so i asked her why and she told me its because her dad is in the military in Cuba so the cant have a religion so when she moved to the U.S she didn't even know what Christmas was or how to celebrate. i was blown away. that shows how sheltered. Ms. D, my teacher has shared with me before about how she used to be this religion but now she isn't anything and doesn't go to church. and as long as your a good person it okay. And she is right being a good person is great but there is so much more she is missing. It all just made me so sad and then i got so frustrated with myself because here we were having an hour and a half long conversation about something i am so passionate about and i just sat there in silence not knowing one thing to say. Why is that? its not that i was scared to say what i believe i just had no words.

So ever since then i have wanted to share now more then ever and i think with the realization i had today i can do it a little better. And a little praying form you guys would hurt either :)

welcome back.

its been a while since ive been on here. but life's been crazy busy. but hopefully that will change soon and i can start relaxing a bit.

But anyways I'm super excited that Christmas is so soon. Soon as in...next week! Although i haven't got all my Christmas shopping done I'm super excited to see Travis, Micah, and Shar when they come home. Although i don't talk to them much i sure do miss them. This is a special Christmas for me because its the first Christmas i will have a boyfriend, and a great one at that, and hopefully we will have many more to come. :)

On another note...God is so good. His truth is becoming more and more real and evident to me and i love it. Ive gone through the book of Isaiah, just finished Romans and now starting Luke. Romans was so good and encouraging and this has been a stressful month so i don't think its any mistake that Romans was what i was reading this month. God is cool...He is indeed. So many things have stood out to me while reading Romans i cant even begin to tell you but i always like to give at least one example of how and this is the one that stood out the most...

Romans 15:5 says this " May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other- each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other." okay so recently i have been praying that my attitude would not be all about me and my pride and selfishness. But as i prayed that i kept feeling like i wasn't saying the right words, like something was missing, (if that makes sense) and what do you know God gave me an answer that very week. My attitude needs to be like Jesus. joyful, loving, kind, good, pure etc.... That's what i want my heart to look like...like Jesus.

Have i mentioned that God is cool? because he really really is. you know why? Because all the stuff i just said goes along with this song that i just so happen to be singing all week long. like as soon as i woke up it was in my head i at wouldn't leave. it says " Jesus give me your heart, break me down, build me up. let who i was keep falling apart, come on and let the fire start give me your heart. my creator oh my creator. may i be low low low so your made higher. may i be low low low so your made higher. for I'm weak then you are strong, weak for you are strong in the weak man" Now your probably like how in the world does that go together...well i have a weird brain/thought processes so let me explain....first by saying Jesus give me your heart its kinda like saying Jesus give me an attitude like you. I want Jesus to break me, to humble me so i can see more of him and less of me. I want him to build me up, to be strong in him and have a fire in my heart for him. But here is the main point i want to get across. It says may i be low low low so your made higher....okay everyone who knows me knows that i love my analogy of "going deeper" and each morning before i even get out of bed i pray that i will be made lower today so he will be exalted on high and that he will take me deeper with him that day. Well i was thinking about it and those kinda go hand in hand...if you go low then your going down, or going deeper and he is being made higher as you seek and find more of him. okay now imagine a circle. Jesus is the circle and you are this little bitty dot in the middle but as you find him he takes you deeper, making you lower and boom your at the bottom, right by Jesus. A lot of people would probably think" i want to be in the middle of the circle that way he is all around me, equal on every side". Well I'm sorry my friend you are wrong because remember we want to have an attitude like Jesus. The world (the circle) doesn't revole around us. Its all about him so we never just want to be right in the middle we want to be right by him :) does that all make sense? i hope so!

okay well some food is calling my name. i Hope you have a wonderful day. and i promise it wont be a million years before i write again....not that anyone cares ha ha.

jordan katlin.